SPARK

I’ve been thinking about and trying to get back to blogging regularly.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, this blog is a conglomeration of my content on three different blogs.  I started out blogging about trying to lose weight and get fit at findingmyinnerathlete.wordpress.com.  One night in a fit of frustration I pushed the “delete” button.  I’ve regretted it.  Since then I’ve blogged with two other friends after we auditioned for The Biggest Loser.  I’ve pulled my posts from that blog into this one so that I don’t lose them.  That blog hasn’t been active for a year.  Then I started this blog with the plan of including my weight loss efforts along with my progress in getting out of debt and any other thing that it is important to my life.  Still, something didn’t feel right and I started yet another blog.  But….I soon realized that I liked this one best, so they are all incorporated here.

And….right now here is a mess.  I’ll be tidying up and making it more organized and easy to follow over the next three weeks.

I’ll be blogging about lots of things, but weight loss and fitness is definitely at the top of my priority list right now.

My friend Shannon recently invited me to get back into blogging and to join a facebook support group of sorts.  We are now on week three and here I am doing my initial post.  Normally being that far behind the curve would really have me in a tizzy.  However, my overall theme for 2013 for each of the areas of my life that I’m working on is INCREMENTAL PROGRESS.  I don’t have to be perfect to start.  I don’t have to keep up with everyone else or any standard other than I need to be moving forward.  Baby steps if you will.  Or layers.  My hope is that by adding one or two good healthy habits at a time and work exclusively on them until they are a habit will help me to solidify them and also make less room for the bad habits by adding so many layers of good ones over time that I have no more room for the bad habits in my life.

One of the things I hear all the time is that you have to know your “why.”  Why do I want to lose weight?  Why do I want to be free of debt? Why do I want to shore up  my spiritual strength? Why do I want to work on developing my talents? There is a related but distinctly different “why” for each.  Hopefully over the next weeks and months I’ll be able to articulate them appropriately.  I’ll start with my “why” for weight loss/fitness today.

I feel a bit like Peter Pan sometimes…..not really aware of my age or station in life.  I think it has finally hit me that I’m not twenty-something any more.  I watch people that I love struggle with their health and ability to get around and it breaks my heart.  Life is harder for them than it needs to be because of choices they made when they were my age.  Sadly, in comparison, I’m a lot farther down that path than they were at my age.  Something needs to change now.  Also, I’ve recently had to come to terms with the fact that I will likely never have children of my own.  That is seriously the only thing I’ve wanted since I was a little girl.  It hasn’t been easy to process.  But, I don’t want to give up on the possibility of one day finding a fabulous man to share my life with. And I want to be able to experience life and go and do things with those surrogate children in my life.  I want to be around for their weddings and their children.  I want to reinvigorate the athlete that I used to be.  I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

So, here I am.  Starting over.  Still 180 pounds overweight.  60 pounds up from the last attempt.  But I’m here.  And I’m trying.

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Posted on January 15, 2013, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. There is no perfect! I am so very happy you are a part of A Spark and I hope you will continue to be easy on yourself and just take the baby steps. Moving forward is moving forward no matter how large of steps you take! You really should share this in the group as your Spark post if you are comfortable. AND we really should plan meeting someday for pete sake we are only a few hours apart!

  2. Good for you! If we waited until we were perfect to start, none of us would ever get anywhere! Make healthy choices today!

  3. Hey! I am a Sparkie friend. Glad you are on my road during this journey. Hope we can encourage each other!

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